The General
Runs faster than a speeding bullet
Can walk on water
Is as strong as ten steam trains
Can leap tall buildings
Talks to God

The Major
Can run as fast as a speeding bullet
Can swim well in calm water
Is as strong as one steam train
Can jump tall buildings in favorable winds
Is sometimes invited to talk to God

The Captain
Can Fire a speeding bullet from a gun
Can swim well with arm bands
Is as strong as a tram
Can find the entrance to tall buildings
Can talk to God only if request forms are filled out in triplicate

The Lieutenant
Is never given a loaded weapon
Drowns when placed near water
Say's "look Choo Choo"
 Can tell what a tall building looks like 9 times out of 10
Has never heard of God

The Sergeant Major
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them
Freezes water with a single glance
Blows over 20 steam trains with one puff
Kicks aside tall buildings that get in his way